Follow-up

This is a follow-up to my last post about freaking out. Thanks for the advice everyone! I went to Babies R Us today to get a playpen and some little odds & ends, and now I'm actually getting pretty excited! I bought some cute little t-shirts and onesies, then sat around with them on my belly thinking "those don't really look all that big compared to this basketball" and I actually smiled and got excited. I'm just picturing her, curled up on my chest like Lo used to, in a little ball, and taking a nap. I'm pretending that a 2 year old isn't bugging me for something while all of this is going on, and it's fabulous. I just can't wait to see what she looks like - we know from the last ultrasound that she has Bryan's nose, and some hair (but Lauren had hair, too, when she was born and where are we now?), but so soon we get to see how cute she really is - like she could be anything but.
Lauren has been calling herself "big sister", and I realize that she might not be so terrible when Mya gets here. I see how she interracts with other kids, and I know that she will be such a great big sister. She might mother her to death, but that's OK.
Anyway, I'm just feeling very calm today and very blessed, also because this was the day (25 days before my due date) that I had Lauren, and things were so scary for us. I'm scared to death that I might have to go into labor on my own, but it's OK - women around the world do it every day. So I'm just happy, a little nervous, a little scared, but I know that she'll be here soon, I can't control the circumstances, and that's just fine. At least I can look forward to 3 months of not working - woo hoo for that!!