Happy Easter!

We decided to get the girls bikes this year for Easter and took them the Friday before to get them so they would have the whole nice weekend to play.

They are pink.

They have tassles.

They have bells.

They have a carriage on the front where you can put a doll.

My girls are in absolute heaven.

And yes, it is very late in Lauren's life to just be getting a bike.  But since she didn't learn to ride a trike until the END of last summer, we figured we would just take one thing at a time.

The Easter Bunny came on Sunday morning and left eggs all over the place - even up in the ceiling fan.

Silly bunny.

Lo was still looking for and gathering eggs.

Mya couldn't help herself - she had to stop and start shovelling in the chocolate.

Can't say I blame her.

Jane Pants got herself a new dolly.  As you can see, she loves it!

And here my beauties are in their Sunday best!

I'm very proud of the 3 smiles I managed to get.

This is my favorite - Mya had this super dramatic posing moment where she decided to gently stroke Jane's face and close her eyes with this look of contentment.

I could not stop laughing.

Happy Easter 2012!

I know, you may have been confused about the year because on a bunch of the pictures I used the "1960's" effect in Picasa.

Don't worry, you were not transpoted back in time via my blog.

I wish!

The Twins' Birthday

I'm having a lovely time playing with Picasa's new editing features.

Super fun!

Anyway, Trevor & Scott's birthdays was April 5th.

It was a strange day with mixed emotions, but I feel I celebrated it exactly how I needed to.

We started out the day by getting some balloons and going to Trevor's grave to send them to him.

 We had to keep a couple for ourselves {aka, for mom's sanity}.

 Lo & Mya made him cards and we left some flowers.

There isn't a head stone yet, which sucks, but we are just waiting our turn after a long winter of frozen ground.

I don't have any pictures of the rest of the day, but we met up with my whole, huge family at Leatherby's to celebrate with Scott.

There were many fries and Tracy's Peanut Butter Cups consumed, and lots of smiles and laughs.

It was a great day.

Happy birthday, TremnenScott!!!

Let's Play a Little Catch Up

Sooooo obviously I haven't been very good at updating.

I went through all the recent pictures yesterday and turns out I haven't been very good at taking pictures, either ;)

Here we go with a little catch up:

This picture of Mya cracks me up because this is such a Mya face.  The face that is saying "I do what I want". 

Here is soon to be Uncle Alex, being mauled by all the kids.

Poor guy looks terrified.

Can't say I blame him :)

This is one of those hilarious moments in a marriage that you never want to forget.  Long story short, the girls asked if they could sleep in this "tent" {it's a little thing you take to the beach to keep a baby out of the sun}.  We obviously told them no, since it's not really a tent.

This is what I found later that night and about peed my pants.

Bryan really wanted to sleep in the tent.

 I gave it about 2 minutes.

Funny boy!

Jane is completely obsessed with Daisy, and {surprise, surprise} "Daisy" was her first word {besides Dadda and the occasional Momma}.

Here is Lo attempting to help Jane stand up.  But Ginger Baby only does what Ginger Baby wants to do, so that didn't go well.

But check out that face!!!

Sadly, I didn't get a pic, but Jane took a few random steps over the weekend - woot woot!

For about a week now, Jane will stand forever and smile and laugh and let you make a fool out of yourself trying to get her to take a step forward.

Then she will slowly lower herself to the ground and go on about her merry way.

But Saturday, Aunt Shara bribed her with a piece of taffy and she took a little, tiny, itty bitty step forward.

Then yesterday, being enticed with Thin Mint ice cream, she did it twice.

And being just barely 10 months old, thus continuing the streak of doing everything long before her sisters ever even thought about it.

Happy day!

Further Explanation

You know when you blog about something, you "publish post" and then you go back and read it the next day and realize you kind of sound like a jerk?
Let me just say that I am, I'm positive, very guilty of saying the wrong thing to someone who has lost somebody. 
I still find the whole subject of death very awkward, because it is SO personal.  Just because I feel a certain way about losing Trevor, doesn't mean somebody else in the same situation feels the exact same way.
And I don't expect everyone {or anyone} to say the right thing.....because is there really a "right" thing to say?
Every person that left me a FB message, came to see me, texted me, called me, sent me a card - all said wonderful, heartfelt words of love and concern that I appreciate and hold dear.
I just think that sometimes people think they can make you feel better or ease your pain - it's human nature, we want to fix the problem, bandaid the wound.  Well, that just won't happen.
And it's better to say something stupid than say nothing at all.  Seriously, that might sound odd, but it's true.
And the best thing, for me, is for my friends and loved ones to treat me how they would before it happened.  I'm tough.  Like, really tough :)
And if you have questions or want to talk to me about anything - please, just ask.  If I don't feel like talking about it, I will definitely let you know!
And if I want to talk about it, I hope the unlucky "you" out there will be willing to listen to me.
It's very weird to not be talking about him all the time, because he is still on my mind constantly.
I hope I didn't sound like a jerk in my previous post!
Love you all!

Having a "Trevor" Day

I'm having a Trevor day.  These are the days when I can't stop thinking about him.

I hear a new song and wonder if he would've liked it.

I see the picture of my family that has been on my desk for 3 months now and stop to take an extra long look.

I see a TV show and laugh because I know he would have, too.

I see something about Twilight on Pinterest and smile because I know how much fun he would've made of me for liking it.

I saw 2 missionaries at the girls' preschool yesterday, talking to the owner of the school who lives upstairs, their bikes locked to a tree out on the drive strip.

I pulled forward so that the girls could see them out their window, and asked them if they knew who those 2 men were.

Lauren replied that they were missionaries.

I then asked if they remembered who in our family were missionaries.

They both said Uncle Trevor and Uncle Scott.

And then we talked for a minute about how we love missionaries because they help people to learn about Jesus and how to be happy.

A few weeks ago, Lauren grabbed my phone to play a game {a very frequent thing} and stopped and said "awwww" with a frown on her face.

I asked what was wrong.

My screen saver is a picture of Trevor, and she said that I shouldn't have that picture because it will make me sad.

I explained that I like to see lots and lots of pictures of Trevor so that I can remember him and how much I love him.

I'm so unbelievably proud of my brother and the example he is to my kids.

I'm constantly amazed at the strength of my family.  I have always admired my dad, but I have come to look up to him so much more since this happened.  I have spent many late nights talking to him about my feelings - the nasty, the good, the sad, the everything - and I have always left feeling comforted and uplifted.  I come from and belong to a truly amazing family, and I am so blessed and proud to be a part of it.

It's interesting seeing how other people act around me now.

Some people just treat me as if nothing has happened, some people treat me with kid gloves and it's like they are waiting for me to break down at any given moment.

And then there are the people that almost want to make a spectacle out of it.

I am more than willing to talk about my brother and the whole experience - in fact, I really like talking about him.  I'm proud of him.  I love him.

But don't ask me questions in front of a bunch of people that I don't know during a children's Christmas party.  Not appropriate.  FYI.

And it's OK for me to talk about him candidly.  It's almost like some people think that you should never talk about someone who has died and make a big awkward moment out of it when you bring up their name or the situation.

It was an event that happened in my life, and I'm going to talk about it.  I might use it as a point of reference, because that's how my life is divided now.  Before and after, just like any other event - just as if you talked about something you did before your first child was born, or after you got married. 

It's OK if I joke around about him, because that's how my family is, and I think it's healthy and it helps me feel better.  Some may see it as inappropriate to say "Trevor would want me to buy this TV", but for us it's a way of coping.  Because he would laugh hysterically at that.

I don't burst into tears every time I hear the name Trevor or see a missionary.  It's OK, I promise.

And now I leave you with these super cheesy pictures from the last family photos we took before Trevor & Scott left on their missions.

We're pretty great :)

Botox? Collagen?

 No, I am not getting Botox.

I like to believe I still have no wrinkles, and I pretty much don't care if I do.

But I digress.

Today we are discussing my poor Lauren.

She's always had very sensitive skin {allergic to sun screen!}, and will break out in random cases of hives every once in a while.

The hives appear out of nowhere, only itch sometimes, and usually diappear in less than an hour {actually, most of the time in under 15 minutes}.

If they itch and stick around for more than 10 minutes or so I will give her Benadryl and then we're done.

Nothing else really works {Cortisone cream - nope} and I don't really worry about it because they go away so fast and don't seem to bother her.

Well, she started with a breakout on Saturday - it went away quickly.

Then again Sunday - same thing, only lasted for a few minutes.

Then Monday and Tuesday she woke up with them on her face and hands, they itched a little, so I gave her Benadryl and they went away the rest of the day.

Then this happened Tuesday night after her bath - once again, they were gone in 10 minutes.

Wednesday she woke up with them again, they went away, then they came back right after dinner.

I gave her Benadryl around 6:30.

Then Bryan game down to my office with her at 7:30 and she looked like this:

But picture it about 3 times worse.

I attempted to stay calm for her sake, but I kind of FREAKED OUT!

We took her straight to the Instacare down the street.

As we were standing there explaining what had happened, I looked down at her face and it was getting red and blotchy, and the whites of her eyes were getting red.

It was all I could do to stay somewhat composed.

They rushed her right back to check her oxygen levels, and the first thing the nurse said was "I don't like how this is going" - and I immediately started to lose it.  Luckily she just meant that she couldn't get a good read using Lauren's pointer finger and had to switch to her thumb.  Not the best choice of words.

She was breathing just fine and her vitals were completely normal.

They gave her more Benadryl {I had only been giving her about a half dose}, and after a few minutes the swelling started to go down.



She seriously looks like Octomom - right??

No, she has not had Botox or Collagen injections :)

We have no idea what triggered it.

She didn't eat anything different than normal, I haven't changed detergent, shampoo, soap, brands of food, nothing.

And, please don't take offense, but please, PLEASE don't offer me any suggestions.  I think I've checked into just about anything and everything it could be.

But thank you anyway :)

I'm just watching her really closely and paying attention to everything she eats to see if I can narrow it down.

The doctor said that a lot of times they never find out what the trigger is and she will probably grow out of it.

Since it wasn't really a severe anaphylactic reaction where her throat closed off or she got severe diarrhea or something like that, we don't really need to be too concerned, and to just give her Claritin daily.

But, seriously, how can I not freak out when my kid comes to me looking like a face lift gone wrong??

I'm going to make an appointment with an allergist, just to be on the safe side.

I think this was the scariest "parent moment" we've had thus far.

I would like to not have it happen again.
And I have to tell you how proud I am of my sweet girl.
She stayed calm as a cucumber the entire time - much to the shock of the nurses & doctor at the Instacare.
She even looked at the doctor and listened intently {giving head nods and "OK"'s at all the appropriate times} while he talked about what to do from here on out.
She is pretty much the bravest 5 year old I know.
And the cutest.
Even when she looks like Octomom.

Amen, Sister. Amen.

My cousin-in-law posted this on her blog, and I just had to re-post here.
All I have to say is
YES!!!
THANK YOU, LADY!
I love my children more than anything, but I do not and will not cherish every moment.
Because some moments are, for lack of a better word, crappy.
I don't think I should have to cherish the 5th diarrhea diaper of Jane's I changed today {it's not even 3:00 for Pete's sake}, or the moment I came up the stairs to find Mya screaming about a piece of hair that was on her hand.
And you know what????
Most days bedtime IS the best part of the day.
And I shouldn't be made to feel like a bad mom because I feel that way.
Because 3 kids ages 5, 3, and 8 months is HARD.
Working full time {even though it is from home} with these 3 little delights is HARD.
But oh how I am happy for those moments that I do and will cherish - even though they may seem few and far between :)