Friday, April 1, 2011

Guilt

Guilt is why I want to share this today.
I just read it and started bawling my eyes out.
This pregnancy has been hard, no doubt.
I'm still sick & having to take Zofran daily {if I don't, I deeply regret it and will throw up}, and am just plain nauseous from 2:00 pm til bedtime.
It hurts to walk.  all. the. time. And has for months. {I feel like I've pulled every "crotch" muscle there is}
I'm tired.  I feel like poop.
I'm stressed about getting things done for this baby, and being sick is keeping me from getting a lot of these things done.
And who do I take it out on?
My poor husband & children.
Lately I get so annoyed with everything - the second I sit down, someone needs more milk {don't they know how bad it hurts to walk across the room?}, someone needs something fished out from under the bed {um, have they seen the beach ball sticking out of my abdomen?}.
I can't even push my kids on the swings {it gives me contractions.  weird, I know, but true}.
I feel so guilty.
I'm short with my kids, and I'm constantly trying to tell myself that it will be over soon & I can get back to being a better mother.
But pregnancy is no excuse. 
Why don't I strive every minute to be the best mother to my girls that I can?
It's not their fault that I feel this way.  I should be able to push past the way I feel for them - because they are the most important thing in my life.
Reading this post just now helped me to remember what a blessing they are, and how much I love them.
Again, my children are a blessing.

1 comments:

carolee said...

I've decided pregnancy hormones are mean. Not only do they make you feel yucky physically, but can really mess around with your emotions too. Yep, they're mean!

If I can ever help out with your girls, please let me know. I know the last few weeks are especially tough for sure!